Who's Going To Lose The Premier League?

That's apparently the million-dollar question on every pundit's lips this season: who on earth is going to not win the Premier League?

It's a confusing state of affairs, with Leicester City refusing to accept that Wes Morgan is a past-it Championship journeyman and Jamie Vardy is just a northern chav who won a phone-in competition.

Whilst Arsene Wenger has a certain amount of validity in saying that the big-spending teams shouldn't be judged by Leicester's example, the weight of expectation still rests firmly on their oil-rich shoulders.

Despite this being a wholly unpredictable season, the media are still rehashing the same old clichés to desperately try and quantify something that they can't understand. Leicester are 'overachieving', Arsenal are 'suffering from nerves' and Spurs lack 'title-winning credentials'.

So who is going to lose the Premier League?

Leicester are the obvious choice for most, despite being backed by the bookmakers after an excellent January showing. They rode their luck against both Norwich and Watford in previous weeks, with the cinematic Odion Ighalo missing three or four gilt-edged chances that, were it still October, he would have blasted so emphatically that they may have actually escaped Earth's atmosphere. Norwich too had several clear chances and fell only to a last-minute goal from Javier Bardem, which apparently caused a minor earthquake in Leicester - although that could have been Robert Huth being felled by local lumberjacks.

Despite the 'team spirit' that pundits are acknowledging is the mark of champions, and the drool-inducing efforts of Algerian winger/sorcerer Riyad Mahrez, Leicester have not shown convincing performances against the sort of lower-league opposition that they stand to face in the coming months. It's oft-repeated, but if Mahrez were to get injured, only teenager Demarai Gray stands to replace him on the right flank, and much of Leicester's creative output would be lost. Indeed, it was proven against West Brom that without Kanté anchoring their midfield, Leicester's watertight defense suddenly became distinctly waterloose.

This thin squad will be sorely tested in the final nine games of the season, and prolific stolen-watch-salesman Jamie Vardy will need to get back in the goals if they are to stretch their lead from the pack behind.

Spurs are a team, however, who look to have a team deeper than the Mariana Trench. Despite injuries to such key players as Jan Vertonghen, the hitherto staunch Kevin Wimmer has filled the breach, and the loss of Andros Townsend, purported to save Newcastle's flatlining season, hasn't affected them at all.

Spurs are in uncharted territory, in no small part thanks to Mauricio Pochettino, who must be in a two-man race with Claudio Ranieri for Manager of the Season. A 1-0 defeat to Leicester and a 2-2 draw against Arsenal may be their rivals' silver bullet, however, as Spurs seem to struggle when playing the teams around them. The North London Derby proved to be an unsatisfactory result for them, which says a lot compared to drubbings in seasons past.

If they lose the title this season, it will be put down to a team that contains no former Premier League winners and has an average age of 24.7. We assume the average was brought down considerably by the fact that Erik Lamela looks like he'll hit puberty any day now.

Arsenal are arguably the team under the most pressure not to lose this - it has been many a season since their 'main rivals' such as Chelsea and Manchester City have been so off-the-pace, and their squad is also as strong as it has been for a decade.

As always, the finger is firmly rotated to point at their training regimens and physio staff, as injuries begin to pile up against the Gunners. In Tuesday night's FA Cup victory over Hull, both starting centre-halves and midfield playmaker Aaron Ramsey had to leave the field through various boo-boos, and with West Brom's hulking Salomon Rondon eyeing up the Arsenal goal this Saturday, it remains to be seen whether they will be able to field any defenders strong enough to resist him. Danny Welbeck has just returned after almost all of the season on the sidelines, and 8-bit figure Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is also awaiting some plasters and a chewable paracetamol.

Arsenal have gained some valuable points - including three at Leicester - but that's one of only three wins in ten that has seen them fall away like a man riding a nuclear bomb waving a cowboy hat. It may be a cliché, but their stuttering is what we've come to expect, and it seems that the weight of expectation may once again shoot them in the foot. Arsenal fans will be hoping for more of a shot in the arm come the weekend.

Manchester City, if they lose it - and lose it they might, being ten points adrift - it will be through nothing but laziness. Sergio Aguero is still attempting to drag them kicking and screaming into the fight, but Yaya Toure is beginning to develop the turning circle of an oil tanker and Eliquim Mangala may just be Benjamin-Buttoning back into a giant baby.

City definitely have the squad to rip teams apart, but a 3-1 defeat at Leicester and 3-0 at the hands of Liverpool, otherwise known as Inconsistency FC, has irreparably dented their chances. They'll spend the rest of the season now duking it out for fourth and focusing on the Champion's League, which they consider a much tastier prize.

So actually, the pundits may be right. The teams are all living up to their stereotypes for the most part, and it is more likely to take a calamitous, Gerrard-slipping-level error than it is to take one team getting maximum points until May.

We're personally just waiting for one fan to take it into his own hands and hobble Harry Kane with a baseball bat.

We say 'fan'. We mean Vardy.